Name that tune

   I can never remember the beginning of one of my favorite songs. As a matter of fact if you asked me to sing any of it I wouldn't be able to. I can't even remember how it goes. It's one of my favorites though, and its been so for a while now. I think that's part of why I love it. Its a pleasant surprise each time I play it.

Dear God.

The Graduation Cap

    I have often thought the Graduation Cap (or Mortarboard as it is also known) a strange and mysterious invention.The academic headdress originated in Italy which explains many questions I have about the cap. Italy is a place of delicious food (you should know right now, that I can relate almost everything to food) and apparently, scholastic attire for the noggin.
   The cap, I have noticed when placed on  a flat surface acts as a lovely, stable tray which can be used to dine on. But this is only the beginning my friends, for when flipped upside down the skull cap serves as a bowl.
   "Lies! Utter nonsense! The cap is a sign of intellect and a great symbol of life and education!" you say. I  am no liar. The modern student has neither the time, nor the money for great feasts. What they can afford is a bowl of Kraft Dinner, Honey Nut Cheerios or maybe if they're lucky, a microwavable chicken pot pie.
   Therefore it is my belief that the cap is as much a nod ("nod", get it?) to casual student starvation as it is  to prestigious education. Nameless Italian Cap Creator, I raise my bowl of cereal to you. You know what's good.

Metaphors

   Metaphors are my Everest. Sometimes something will happen to me and I'll think "this is probably a really deep metaphorical message from the Universe to me". But I can never actually figure out what it might mean. I suck at metaphors, and I am not important enough to be receiving messages from the Universe. That kind of thing probably only happens to serious people like The Dalai Lama, Michael Ondaatje and Chris Angel. Or maybe everyone gets lil messages from the Universe but they're only decipherable if you are a spiritual leader, metawhore (frequent user of metaphors) or mind freak.
   Example of potential message from Universe to me: One day I sat down on the bus and noticed that the seat beside me was occupied by a styrofoam cup 3/4 full of water. I did not want to hold it because I am a bit of a germaphobe and I didn't want to hold something that had been pressed to a stranger's lips. I couldn't put it on the ground either because it would spill everywhere. This put me in an awkward position for several reasons:
- If anyone wanted to sit they'd probably assume it was my cup wonder why I'd selfishly left my
refreshment on the seat and curse me for not simply holding it.
- Every time the bus took a turn, or slowed (which was very frequent) the little cup would become taunt me, nearly falling over each time.
   Who left this water? Why did they leave it? Why do I care? I do not have the answers.

This is The Almond.

 This is the almond because whenever I am asked to say a a word, and then my name (which happens more often than it should) I always say almond. It's also live in 3D, just for good measure. This is a thing that happened to me today:

 Today I came home to an empty house. My father had left the vacuum cleaner sprawled in the middle of the floor. I guess I was in a bad mood because when I saw it I burst into tears.