A Summer Well Summed

   What is the sign of a summer well summed? As a kid, my dad once told me that either being ready to go back to school or not being ready was the sign of a good summer. I can't really remember which one though. I would assume that not wanting summer to end is the sign that you've been having an awesome summer.
   I wouldn't say that I'm super ready to return to school, and when I'm sitting in a three hour lecture I know I will yearn for the uneventful, lazy days of summer. I think after four months of part-time work and not too much else I am more ready for a change of any kind than to hit the books again. So if anyone wants to offer me a trip to Spain, or a gig reviewing restaurants for the next little while, just let me know; I'm down.

Dear Olympics,

Dear Olympics,

   I would like to actually see some events. I do not care about press conferences or the weird flirtatious relationship between the two CBC newscasters. I just want to see some sport. Thank you.
   This has been a message from a disgruntled almond.

A

Junk- Finished and Unfinished

   While I was taking out the recycling today I thought of what a person's garbage tells you about them. I like to consider new ways that peoples' possessions, or in this case their waste, speak for them. Receipts is an oldie but a goodie.
   I considered how under certain circumstances a bottle of wine in the recycling could mean a lot. I thought of how much more interesting a full bottle would be to find in the trash rather than an ordinary empty one. For some reason the full bottle of wine took hold of me a little and I started to think of how unused or unfinished products are much more interesting or even incriminating when found in the garbage than other products.
   You throw something out when you're done with it so usually empty containers or shredded documents are thrown out. But things like crisp blank paper or full bottles of medication are much more interesting to think about and wonder why someone might throw out a thing that it would appear they are not finished with.

Pizza Excitement!

   So since I've been a major slacker on posting new stuff I'm updating twice today! Hold on to your hats ladies and gentlemen, because you're in for a wild ride.
   I just made one (count 'em, one) pizza. And when I say I made it I mean I decided upon a grocery store's worth of toppings to put on a pre-made pizza dough. It was a tough decision but I was feeling risky and exotic so I settled upon brussel sprouts and prosciutto with onion (pause for applause/ applause pause).
   The house smells really nice now and my only complaint is that the dough was much to thick and filling- but hey, that was totally out of my control! I want my friends to come over now so I can show them the half pizza that remains. Simply posting a picture to Facebook and texting my boyfriend is not enough- but I still did it.

Subway étiquette

   Today I was on the subway heading out of downtown, like I do. This rather large woman got on at one point; she wasn't super big but she was a substantial lady. I had an empty seat beside me and there was another empty seat across from me but otherwise the train  was pretty full.
   So this smaller woman sat beside me after asking the bigger woman if she would like the seat. It was a little awkward because the latter might not have fit comfortably in the seat so she politely declined the offer. I don't know what I would have felt in that situation but the woman looked a little sad (that could just be me projecting though), maybe uncomfortable or embarrassed.
   Then I got off along with a bunch of other people, and something I wouldn't have even considered happened. The woman beside me got up and moved, so she could offer the other woman the two seats side by side. Its not like senior citizens where its common practice to offer your seats, but maybe people should consider it. I figured I'd feel awkward, and risk offending an overweight individual by offering them not one but two seats. I suppose like anything there are more tactful and less tactful ways to suggest  it and when push comes to shove your heart is in the right place.
   I don't have much of a point to make, I just thought it was an interesting situation.

Burning Church

   I had a dream last night that I was in Montreal on the phone with my dad, standing outside a church. I think it was Christmas eve because there were fireworks going off unattended beside me. Then the fireworks malfunctioned and the church caught on fire. I didn't think the fire would get worse because the church was made of stone, but it did. There were people inside and I was telling my dad that the church was on fire, but I felt too awkward to do anything. I told myself that they had probably already realized that the church was on fire.

On Recent Controversy

   This girl I met at an Arcade Fire concert (I should mention we were front row, at a free concert, waited for like 9 hours, no big deeeeaaallll) blogged about the recent controversy surrounding the Daniel Tosh's insensitive rape joke and following uber-asshole-/asshole-can't-even-describe-that-kind-of-ignorance remarks. She wrote an essay in response to it and Louis CK actually quoted her on The Daily Show while talking about the issue.
   First of all one big congrats to her. The essay is powerful and makes some really good points that are just common sense, which I would argue, seems to indicate a lack of common sense on the part of those who defend rape jokes. I don't know this girl well at all, but I am proud to know several bloggers who are making a difference in the way people think, and hopefully making a difference in the culture today.

Wanderlike

   I would really like to go to Ireland for like.. a year or many months. Before I left high school I didn't know what I wanted, there was a time when I planned to travel. I have always felt pressure to travel kind of- the same pressure a normal teen might feel to get good grades and continue on to a good school. I am glad I never had that kind of real pressure. But my dad and paternal grandmother are big travellers and I know that it is their wish for me to experience the world.

   To be honest though, before I went to university I had very little wanderlust. I am not the most adventurous type, and moving over one province for school was enough displacement for me. I'm a very home-based girl- I like familiarity. Lots of kids really want to travel, a ton of my friends have done it and I am always jealous but in theory mostly.

   Now that I have one year of university under my belt though, I'd really like to just get up and go. After next year I feel like I'll be chomping at the bit! I think an exchange is in order for sure, so I can study and do the whole travelling, finding myself thing too. School tends to suck the fun out of beautiful things, but I don't think even the power of book-learning could reduce the overseas experience enough to make me want to quit the dream.

Cheerful List

   When I'm feeling blue I like to start listing things that I liked/ have gone right in my day and esentially keep going until I feel better. Here we go!
1. Listening to Michael Buble
2. Had the best BLT of my life at work
3. Became friends with my manager
4. Only worked 3 hours, but at least I didn't get cut first
5. My mum's visiting tonight (TBA about whether this makes me feel better or not)
6. pet some cats
7. Michael Buble
8. Had shower, am no longer grubby
9. Did lots of voices with my coworker
10. It rained
11. Didn't take a million hours to get around despite major subway disruption
12. Bought the tackiest/ most hilarious shirt for my father's B-day gift. It has a trout on it (3 actually) and reads "the trout, the whole trout, and nothing but the trout, so help me God". Lol.
13. Deposited my puny pay check
14. Drank lots of water

Laziness and Spending

   I don't know if people realize this, but saving money is in close correlation with saving money. I mean serious laziness, like one step past going to McDonalds because you're too lazy to cook; like starving because you're too lazy to even go to McDonalds lazy. Another example: the kind of lazy that considers walking up and down the stairs exercise.
   I am this kind of lazy, and as a result I am pretty decent with money. I am so lazy that I often do not go out with friends because why bother when I could be at home watching Girls on 1channel. Am I right? Am I right? But in all seriousness, you wanna save some money, just drop all motivation towards everything with the exception of staying motivated to make money. The cheddar's gotta come from somewhere (believe me, I've tried to cut all spending and maintain the same bank balance while making no money and I just turned into an angry food monster).
   Some easy cuts: food, gym membership, hot water and pets (set them free, they'll love you more for it).

Haystacky

   What is the purpose of haystacks? Is a haystack just an accumulation of hay, and if so, does it serve any functional purpose? I don't know, but what I do know is that I love it as an adjective!
   The best example I can think of is to describe a haircut as haystacky. My mother said this to me in an email and why, I just couldn't contain my laughter! Hair, like a haystack, imagine that. You could also describe an arrangement of food as such: the string beans were piled on top of the bread cake in a haystackyway. Or a pubescent pre-teen's room, a mother in at her wit's end might describe like "clothes, books and school supplies flung about all haystacky!". Yes, the word of the future is what it is, if nothing else.

The Psychology of Spending

   I bought a new summer dress yesterday at GAP. Its been a while since I bought new clothes, or at least since I've parted with eighty dollars, so I had kind of forgotten some of the positive feelings that come along with that. As a stingy person, I always associate a sinking feeling in the stomach with dropping a lot of cash, especially on something that is not totally necessary.
   Now that I have this new dress I am really excited to wear it, and it makes me feel good to wear it. I would describe it as a princess feeling- and not only because its a flowy, pink floor length number. It gives you a confidence that I had entirely forgot about. Not that its not possible to feel strong in an old garment, but its like a new friend- you don't know how you'll interact together, what you might get up to, how they might influence your personality and that is exciting.
   I can see how easy it would be to get completely sucked in and become addicted to shopping. I have some friends who have serious issues budgeting their money and avoiding the allure of clothes, makeup and fancy coffees. I don't know what manly addicts would buy, if my boyfriend is any example, splurges include boring coffees, records and deodorant.
   But I guess that no matter what you buy, you still get that thrill on a smaller scale. Whether its clothes or deodz you're putting on a different version of yourself. Or in the case of foodstuffs, you're doing something as a treat (even if it becomes habit), you're escaping from your perception of yourself. When I put on my new dress I feel like I take on its qualities: I feel vibrant, fun and less ordinary than I do in old clothes.
   I think it'd be really interesting to learn more about the psychology of spending and maybe to write more about that, if its not super boring... and even if it is. Is it something wired in us that makes spending feel good (as much as it can make us feel bad) or is it society and the media and Ryan Seacrest? Stay tuned I guess...

Samosas

   What category does a samosa fall under in Canada's Food Guide? According to wikipedia, a samosa is "a fried or baked pastry with a savory filling such as spiced potatoes, onions, peas, lentils, ground lamb or chicken". So bearing that in mind, I pose the question, is a samosa a vegetable?
   I guess thats like asking if a minced meat pie is equivalent in meat qualifications to a steak or if maple syrup is a wood product. But for real, what is a samosa? Maybe its more free spirited than North American foods, and like a Rob Pattinsion and Kristen Stewart, cannot be defined by labels. Its definitely not a pastry, when I think of pastries they have a savoury filling but we can easily run into difficulty with this when we contemplate the vast universe of quiches. 
   The only people who try to classify tricky foods into healthy categories are the wildly unhealthy such as myself. Living alone, I no longer eat anything that is easily classified so I find myself faced with these questions everyday. Perhaps I just need to write a guide for all the unhealthies called Is A Samosa A Vegetable?

Rebecca Way

   Her name is probably Rebecca Way. She is sitting across from me at the corner table wearing a blue sundress. All that is left in her glass is a teaspoon of rosey liquid and some ice cubes, which would indicate that she's been sitting here for a while. She is reading a book (I'm not sure what, but if we're succumbing to stereotypes I'd guess either a recommended fiction or a travel guide). Maybe she is visiting here, working for the summer, but I like to think that this stylish lady is a native to my hometown.
   The dress is the type of garment you pack only one of for the specific occasion of a free day for doing something not labour intensive. Her hair is parted down the middle with her longish bangs framing her face with the rest of her hair pulled up. This style is complimented by the little earrings she wears. One her feet she wears cream coloured slip-ons, a good choice for the heat.
   She has currently abandoned her book and is texting on her blackberry (which wears a brightly coloured TNA case). Maybe she texts to reassure others around her that she has friends, this is a common pastime of anxious people alone in coffee shops. On the table in front of her is the nearly empty glass sitting atop a napkin, a wrapper of some sort, and the abandoned book. To her side in the booth she sits at is a white and brown zip-up shoulder bag. I can only imagine that she looks very stylish all put together.

   She stood up shortly after I finished writing this in the store. For the record, she looked very stylish.

Linda Notose

   I first found myself standing behind her on the eastbound platform at roughly nine thirty today, which was a Friday. I specifically took notice of her because she was eating Organic Brand cheetos while waiting for the train. She sat down on the opposite side of the train once it arrived, her left profile facing towards me. Once she was seated she buried the back of cheese snacks in her alligator green carryall which appeared to be stuffed full of groceries of other such things.
   She had curly hair, appeared to be in her mid forties. She struggled with her brimming sac which she precariously balanced on her lap. I tried to identify one of the other items and the closest guess I could manage was possibly a bushel (bushel?) of brown paper towels. That is a poor guess though because I can't imagine why such a thing would find itself beside the "organic" cheetos in a bright green sac.
   I try to avoid being exposed as a snoop/ creep when observing people, so I observe little about their upper halves, but can describe the feet in picturesque detail. This woman wore dress flips flops. The were certainly not the one dollar end of summer flip flops you find at Old Navy. They were black with a little jewel where the foot thong meets by the big toe. Her toes were painted a coral colour and in observing this I made a shocking discovery. This woman's big toe nails lifted very far off the toe- as if they were trying to take flight! I thought at first that it was due to a previous accident (a box drop or door stub perhaps) having only seen one toenail, but then she shifted her footing and I saw the other was the same. It was very strange and a bit shocking. I'm sure I could learn to love it but it caught me off guard.
   Her name is Linda Notose.

The Amazing Spiderman and the Crane Operators of Manhattan

   I will award one hundred gold pieces to whoever can tell me who is in charge of the Spiderman franchise. I'm talking names here people. My daughter's hand in marriage goes to whoever can bring them to me alive so I can insult them to tears before I send them to a pirate's death.
   This is what they are: pirates. They have plundered the successful comic book world of Spiderman and stolen it for their own whilst ransacking all quality and soiling the name. To think that there are children who will see the most recent Spiderman movie and have that be their only knowledge of it is sickening to me. I am lucky to have original comics from the 60's in my possession, and love the saga for its glory days rather than the post Spiderman 3 downward spiral.
   This latest instalment, the retelling of the original Spiderman story but with new actors and a different villain is brutal to watch. The story of Peter Parker becoming Spiderman is rushed through- since its a story we've already watched some eight odd years ago- while key details made intriguing by the trailer are simply nonexistent in the film. Its like the filmmakers just decided that they would introduce a bunch of branches of the plot but only follow through on the meat and potatoes trunk of story. I tend to enjoy meat and potatoes myself as long as they are filling and satisfying, but I would say that the "food" equivalent of The Amazing Spiderman (2012) meat and potatoes is a Hungry Man microwavable dinner. Not real food by any stretch, certainly not what you want when you pay fifteen dollars, put on silly 3-D glasses, sit between two overweight men for two and a half hours.
   The dialogue is dodgy as always, I think that is the one consistency in the Spiderman films. However unlike other recent superhero movies, the Spiderman film cannot decide whether it is more comedic like say, Iron Man or dark like The Dark Knight. We have this hyper intense relationship between two seventeen year-old characters that is hard to take seriously given that they are still eating Sunday dinner with their families and being driven to high school. Gwen Stacey is also a high school senior who somehow has full access to the biochemistgenetictesting lab where she works as an intern. In the comic books, they're fully in college which makes gives their relationship more weight and allows for more believable career paths. When I was in high school I cleaned toilets part time, I certainly did not mix DNA to give rats new arms.
   My main beef is that the original Spiderman with Tobey Maguire came out like eight years ago. That one big "too soon" to the producers this time around. And if you're going to pull a "too soon" aim to hit it out of the park, at the very least make it better than the original. Half of the film was exactly the same storyline as its predecessor so they rushed through all this great stuff since we've all seen it before. And the truth is, maybe I wouldn't have cared to see it all given to me in detail, and that is a major oversight of the filmmaker. When you're doing something that hasn't been done before, something that is a cliche like the superhero film, I think you have to be clever about things to keep it fresh and interesting. There was nothing clever about The Amazing Spiderman round two.
   The Spiderman franchise appears to be like a wild night out. You start out enjoying yourself, having fun with Spiderman 1 and kind of 2; everything gets sloppy towards the end of the night and people end up hating you (Spiderman 3). If you want to bring the biggest financial flop ever brought to the stage that would be Spiderman the musical which I don't think even made it past previews; thats the part of your night when you are belligerent, you end of punching people and all your friends finally abandon you. This new Spiderman is the horrible hangover in the morning that makes you question how you can possibly still be alive after being so ruined. That is The Amazing Spiderman and the Crane Operators of Manhattan.

Harold Dernwert

   Harold Dernwert is the name of the man who sat across from me on the subway. I know this because it is fiction that I made up. On his face he wore rectangular glasses. On his feet he wore rounded white Sketchers sneakers with white laces and white sport socks, though he did not look like he was going to or from sporting. On his body he wore a purple- I'm guessing cotton- polo paired with khaki shorts. The shorts were the kind with lots of pockets, the outdoorsman's equivalent of a purse.
   I sat across from him for the duration of three stops between when he sat down across from me to when I got off at my destination. He stepped onto the train while eating a bag of Doritos, I am not sure what kind. They were in a yellowish bag which might indicate Fiery Habanero or Toasted Corn flavour; we will never know for sure. He was mostly finished the Frito-Lay treat upon seating himself, and promptly crumpled the bag replacing it in the plastic bag (origin unknown) from whence it came. Harold then pulled a lemon Perrier from the bag, unscrewing the cap with some difficulty. He carefully licked the presumably spilled drink off his left hand in a publicly-appropriate manner before proceeding to drink the beverage.
   I was surprised by the speed at which he drank the lemon Perrier. Its true that it was a hot day today, but the man nearly chugged the entire bottle in one gulp so that the green plastic imploded in his hand by the power of suction. He sat holding the half finished Perrier, his legs crossed, holding the crumpled plastic back on his lap on top of the black satchel he carried with him when I exited the train. This was the last I would see of Mr. Dernwert. So many questions remain. So little we know of this man, and yet so much we learn from this one encounter.

Old Man Baby

    You know when you see babies? Its cute, right? Their faces are all kind of squinty and they have their small human hands and features; its all very cute. Yes... Yes. Yes? No. Nonono. 

   It is not so cute when these microscopic people look like adult or fully aged and seniorized people. I don't know if its a disease or just nature's idea of a sick joke, but it certainly is not funny. Thats probably the leading cause of healthy couples not having children. The fear of an old man baby is very real and justified. If thats how the babies look now, then what happens when they grow up? Do they mature into a raisin?