The Graduation Cap

    I have often thought the Graduation Cap (or Mortarboard as it is also known) a strange and mysterious invention.The academic headdress originated in Italy which explains many questions I have about the cap. Italy is a place of delicious food (you should know right now, that I can relate almost everything to food) and apparently, scholastic attire for the noggin.
   The cap, I have noticed when placed on  a flat surface acts as a lovely, stable tray which can be used to dine on. But this is only the beginning my friends, for when flipped upside down the skull cap serves as a bowl.
   "Lies! Utter nonsense! The cap is a sign of intellect and a great symbol of life and education!" you say. I  am no liar. The modern student has neither the time, nor the money for great feasts. What they can afford is a bowl of Kraft Dinner, Honey Nut Cheerios or maybe if they're lucky, a microwavable chicken pot pie.
   Therefore it is my belief that the cap is as much a nod ("nod", get it?) to casual student starvation as it is  to prestigious education. Nameless Italian Cap Creator, I raise my bowl of cereal to you. You know what's good.