There are many many scholarships out there available to students, which is great. The problem is that there are also many many many many students in need, and to make sure that the right scholarships are given to the the right people, a lot of scholarships are specialized. Fortunately for me there are a lot of scholarships for literature and writing students. Unfortunately for me there are not a lot of scholarships for cynical young writers like myself.
If I could write a response to Chelsea Handler's My Horizontal Life for a chance to win 10,000$, I totally would. However, the scholarships that promise first place cash prizes like that are to be written on books with names that I fell asleep reading.
I shouldn't whine, I know. And it would be completely valid to argue that if I wanted the money bad enough I would read the book(s) in question and write the shit out of that response essay for my chance to win more money than I can fathom. I am simply expressing my desire for my specialized art of sarcasm to be recognized in the form of dolla dolla bills.
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