The Inside Scoop (a fictitious encounter)

Pancreas: We thought we'd all get together and talk to you about some recent events.

Brain: What the fuck are you doing with your life girl?

Kidney 1: Hey there Brain, lets be a little more constructive.

Kidney 2: Yeah Brain, lets be a little more constructive.

Pancreas: We're concerned is all.

Brain: To put it gently. 

Liver: I'm with Brain on this one. There is nothing gentle about my biological processes lately.

Me: Woah there insides, lets slow this one down. Whats this all about?

Pancreas: Listen, we know that you're going back to school soon so you want to make the most of the time you have left with your friends at home.

Brain: For real though, you go to school in Montreal. And I remember Montreal and it is not a cheese and crackers type deal.

Me: I don't know what you're suggesting Brain.

Stomach: I specifically recall being force-fed 1.00$ pizza at an ungodly hour almost every Saturday night.

Esophagus: I remember a lot of the opposite.

Liver: The horror, the horror of it all!

Me: Ok, I see what you're saying, but I think maybe you're all just overreacting.

Brain: See thats always what you say after you've slept in and drank the entire Atlantic Ocean. But I know that when you stagger home at five a.m you want to die.

Me: Thats a little harsh.

Skeleton: Its a stagger. Your alignment is that of an inflatable waving arm tube man.

Pancreas: What we are trying to understand is the allure of debauchery.

Liver: I shall never understand!

Pancreas: If we knew maybe we could help you...

Brain: I have an idea, but of course I lose all power after three vodka redbulls.

Lights dim, a spotlight emerges over Me.

Me: I don't know guys. I'm really sorry. I don't really know what gets into me. Well, I guess three or more vodka redbulls is what gets into me. The thing is, I'm leaving all these people who I really like. Some of whom, I just got to know recently. I just want to put them all into an empty 2-6 and take them with me to Montreal. I want to have debaucherous fun with these people so that we will always remember that time when all that PG-13 shit went down. I will miss them, so I am drowning my sorrows in gallons of alcohol.