Julie Andrews

   Do you ever have those days where you wake up and are like, "I wonder what Julie Andrews is doing right now"?
   Happens to me all the time.
   Like, is she currently sitting in her country chalet sipping a cup of cocoa (she no longer drinks tea because every single role she has ever played has come to make her despise the drink which she commonly refers to as "the devil's brew")? Personally, I don't even know where she lives, I would guess that its somewhere in Great Britain but I don't like to assume.
   Maybe she's working on her next children's book. Maybe she's fleeing Nazi occupied Austria. Maybe she is skydiving. We will never know. Actually, I'm sure we would know if it was the second one, because of the whole Nazi thing, and I think I speak for us all when I say it would be really troubling if that were to resurface. It would exceed bummer status.
   But back to Julie, for it is she who we all wish to know about. When you search @julieandrews on Twitter you get a protected account that follows thirteen people, has zero tweets and zero followers. This is most definitely not the real Julie Andrews as the true Dame would have one motherfucking hundred followers on Twitter. Thats what it would say: one motherfucking hundred.
   She has children to raise and fancy international music awards to host, music awards that are so classy that normal folk don't even know they exist unless they wikipedia Julie Andrews. We'll never know what she's doing right now, and her security team is probably so on the ball that we will never even know what she did yesterday. It saddens me that I have access to the knowledge of what angsty fifteen year olds are currently doing, but not interesting and critically acclaimed people like Dame Julie Andrews.