My apologies in advance about the heightened attention to murder talk lately. So sorry guys, sorry about talking about murder so much.
Anyways, I think I have discovered what drives people to murder. I'm going to take the liberty of making up a statistic here and favour a guess that nine in ten murderers are driven to murder after sitting down to a nice toasted bagel, only to discover that the bagel is stale. This is presently happening to me, thankfully I have an iron will and refuse to be driven to madness by unsatisfactory grains.
To those of you who have been tempted by a life of murdering only to avenge your stale bagel experience I say, resist! Resist now friends and murderers-to-be! A stale bagel is truly the devil's work and if you slather on enough butter you can make it through without killing anyone!
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