Bathroom Safety

   You know those wavy ridges on the floor of a bathtub? I would like some statistics on how may times those have ever prevented anyone from slipping and cracking their heads open. I would like to know the science behind the anti-slip ridges because, call me a Debbie downer, I don't think any human lives have ever been saved by those, and yet they remain a relevant thing in bathroom furnishing.
   My uncle Tom would have you believe that orthodics are the biggest scam on the market, but I say this trumps orthodics. You can even but extra stick-on wavy bathtub liners if the ones that may or may not be built into your tub are not sufficient (which I promise you, they are not).
   Who are these people with feet like heavy, grated sponges that cause enough friction against the anti-slippies that they are prevented from falling? If your feet are that rough that they create a velcro-like fusion with the stick-on ridges, then I think you should be investing that money elsewhere, perhaps in a pumice stone.
   But who knows, maybe I'm just showering wrong. Maybe if my feet are not being held steadily in place by the decal slip-savers, I should be taking extra measures to ensure my shower safety. Next time I shower I will have to invest in a pair of children's leaotards- the kind with the anti-slip rubbery pads on the feet- to up my game. That way I will fully be able to appreciate and understand the bathtub ridges, and make the most out of all they have to offer.