If your friends are anything like mine-- actually, its probably safe to assume you don't have any friends if you're reading my blog or else you'd be out doing something with them. Correction: if friends are anything like my friends, then you probably also have dating terminology that you have established and adapted for your personal purposes over the years. For example, my friends and I once spent the entirety of a house party speaking in nautical codes which corresponded for guys and all things pertaining to them to keep our superficial natures hidden. Tragically, it would seem that seventeen year-old guys were not into girls who spoke like pirates. Lesson learned.
Anyway. You could write a dictionary- not pocket-sized either- of dating/hook-up/relationship terminology that has worked itself into modern languages. And I've got a new one! The consolation sweater!
The consolation sweater is something that anyone who has ever had a relationship - be it one night stand, long-term, long distance or could-have-been-but-never-materialized - that failed at any level will understand and appreciate. If you hang out with someone in a "romantic" context, there is a great chance than not that you will wind up with some degree of consolation sweater when it all comes crashing to an end. The term "consolation sweater" refers to these acquired objects regardless of how much of a sweater they are or not. They are the participation ribbons of singledom.
If I chose to, I could cover the surface of a wall with such consolation sweaters. You'd walk into my apartment and I'd hand you a glass of red wine, ask you to step back from the display and begin,
"Oh these white sweat socks? Those belong to my most recent ex. At first I thought they were mine, but he had smaller ankles than me, unmistakably. Oh and this hoodie? That's that guy I was seeing a few months back. He said he'd call me, and I'm still waiting, but until then it's a great consolation sweater!"
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