When I was in grade one I was in love with a boy in my class. He was in grade two, so it was pretty badass of me. I was like, whatever, age is just a number y'all. One problem: before the age of fourteen I was super shy and blended in with the wallpaper as a hobby. So I decided to make him a card and leave it in his cubby.
The card had a drawing of me and him just chilling in the outdoors. I remember him wearing brown pants and being abnormally tall in my illustration. And then I did the boldest thing I have EVER done in my life, which was to depict him holding a little heart-shaped valentine for me. I have never even come close to being this ballsy in my adult life, never ever!
So then I left it in his cubby for him to find. Then I saw him tear it up and throw it in the recycling as he stared into my eyes, shaking his head. It was like a scene from a John Hughes film that the main character would wake up from panting and sweaty. Except seven year-old me just had to sit there on the carpet watching from the classroom, not crying.
That is the exact moment that my heart turned into a bag of sand- not ice, ice can be melted whereas sand never thoroughly heats all the way through and just chills in a heavy lump.
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