I have stumbled upon what promises to be the newest and most effective form of anti-smoking/quitters technology. It comes in drink format, and will prove to be much better than nicotine gum or that weird hollow tampon you're supposed to put in your mouth and pretend like everything's normal. Also, Starbucks will be able to sponsor this as it is a product of their own creation- kind of- so it is a win-win for the big guy and the little guy. And the disproportionately lanky guy who is me, because I am riding this bandwagon as the discoverer of the drink as a tool to help people quit smoking.
The drink itself is not on the Starbucks menu, but all you have to do is go in and ask for an iced white chocolate mocha with two pumps of raspberry. I found out about it on this secret Starbucks menu thing on the internet (which I don't know how to use)- http://www.buzzfeed.com/laurad17/the-secret-menu-at-starbucks-5akw. There ya go, be forever in debt to me.
Anyways the drink essentially tastes like 6 cigarettes. The chocolate and the mocha part already kind of taste like burnt brown, and somehow the artificial chemical sweetness blends to make a tobacco product. It doesn't smell like tobacco of course which means it is workplace friendly. I don't imagine your breath or hair smells either, and if it does you're probably doing something wrong.
Prospective quitters can now live normal lives, no longer having to suck on fake tampons to make it through the day. They can easily slip into the anonymity of big city living #Starbucks style, while overcoming an addiction that is generally frowned upon (in the distance a woman wearing to much blush wails "think of your children").
A heads up about the drink though: if you're not quitting, don't order it. It tastes like rear end.
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