Scams

   Living in the desperation of student life is nearly turning me into a full on fraud in the pettiest of ways. I am not even a cool fraud like Leo in Catch Me if You Can. I do things like try to alter previous university acceptance letters to qualify for student discounts away from home. I try to tamper with McDonalds coupons in the hopes of turning one free meal into two.
   So when I am caught and arrested what will the long and short of my case be? Will it read, "girl, 18, commits fraud for burgers and subway tickets"? When they call my family telling them I've been apprehended, what will they say to my mother and will she then even bother coming down to the station?
   I am unsure of how I will fare in prison too. I imagine I'll be treated better than a baby killer but worse than a cat killer. All the tuff stuff in prison will make short work of me, I have very floppy muscles and can barely hold my own in the free samples line at Loblaws. So in the end, is the scamming really worth it? I have yet to successfully get discounts or free cholesterol so I don't know. But get back to me when I am riding the subway for free, taking up two seats with my lard, I'll probably say yes.