Buying Shawties Dranks

   I am probably the most glad that I'm not a dude when I think about having to buy girls drinks. Nobody's forcing anybody to buy anyone drinks, and nobody's saying a lady can't buy a gentleman a drink (I've done it). My point being, I don't want to make a big social issue out of this. My moral capacities are simply not up for it today.
   My personal opinions on being bought a drink are that it's a classic thing, and I like free shit. That being said, I don't think any man is required to buy a girl a drink as a way to hold her in conversation and show her he's interested. I appreciate the risk that is being taken on the part of dudes buying drinks everywhere that you don't know if your lady friend is just using you for a free drink only to ditch you later on. I get it. That sucks. On the flip side of that, no woman is obliged to make out with some next man just because he laid down seven dollars or whatever for a drink. Basically, it's a high-risk situation for everyone!
   Imma just talk about the insight I have gained from the very minimal field research I have done on the subject. It's kind of a weird thing to buy someone an alcoholic beverage as a means of expressing your interest. It's a bit creepy to begin with. But then again, free stuff is free stuff and I don't hate. So I think my first piece of standard advice is that if you're going to buy someone a drink, don't buy them anything especially alcoholic. No triple shots. Just. No. Sends the wrong message. I had a guy buy me a really strong drink that even the bartender said would "fuck me up". And then the guy was joking around and implying that I was a pussy (he didn't use those words, I just can't think of a less offensive way to express it right now) if I didn't drink it. For real, man? I am not a six foot Spanish man, I cannot pound that back and you're not doing yourself any favours by challenging me to keep up with you.
   Needless to say, that guy was not my future husband. That's not to say that it always has to be creepy and weird for someone to buy you a drink. I once had a guy talk to me for like half an hour before he offered to buy me a drink. I feel like that's the best way to rock out, for all parties involved. That way, the two guys, or two girls or guy and girl, can actually see if they like each other enough to warrant even speaking. I feel like its the worst case scenario to buy someone a drink and then realize that you both hate each other. And if you're biding your time before buying someone a drank *launches into rendition of T-Pain's "Buy You a Drank"* and they get bored with you and run off, look at it this way: now you can put that drink money towards buying a sexy drink for yourself. And if you don't end up bringing anyone back to your place, it's probably for the best because 1. you can get a sweet pepperoni slice on your way home, 2. you probably didn't clean your room that morning anyway.