Either The Best or the Worst Essay Ever

   So I'm writing an essay on the Victorian detective novel The Moonstone. You know, that classic tale that I'm sure all of you have read and reread. Sometimes when I'm writing essays, I lose all will to live. In an effort not to throw myself out of my window, sometimes I just gotta be caj about things and then when I reread my essay when editing, I realize that I am the funniest person alive.

   Like, sometimes I just gotta tell it like it is: "Badass Essay". And then when it comes down to actually naming it, I like to be current. Hashtags are appropriate right? Also note: that classic thing when you don't know how to start an essay so you launch into a classic definition of something everyone knows in hopes your prof will appreciate the metaphorical value of it and also your lame creativity.

  

   Also that other classic thing where you mock a character right in the middle of your essay. Sarcasm is formal enough, right?

   And my personal favourite: when you spend half an hour trying to form words and settle on "something something something" in hopes that it will all just come to you. Because really, I'm a Creative Writing Major. It's all about the craft.