Today I had a real adventure. I sat at my dining room table while my roommates and I showed our apartment to people who would like it next year. It was thrilling, and also inspired my creative and mischievous mind.
These guys came to look at the apartment and me and my roommate were overcome with impishness and inspected their cute boy shoes. They were international students from France so their cute boy shoes were more like cute European boy shoes. I want to stress it was like ninety percent interest in shoes, eight percent interest in whats for dinner, and two percent interest in the boys.
But then I had this thought: what if I just took one of their pairs of shoes while my roommate was showing the apartment. What would they even do? Inevitably they would be like "Where ees my shoe?" and I would stare at them with a look of adorable inquiry.
My goal would be to convince him that he came over without shoes on. I don't even care to keep his shoes, but can you imagine what a victory that would be? I also want you to seriously think about what you would do if you came into a seemingly sane and organized young lady's apartment and found yourself without shoes when you left.
What would you even do???
I have never felt more powerful than when I have been contemplating this situation. Which maybe is a sad statement about the amount of power I have in my day to day life. After a while, you would have to leave shoeless. Or borrow some plastic bags to wear on your feet on the walk home. But in that situation I would have looked at him like he was insane, because at this point he is the one who is insane because to the mind-fuck victor goes the spoils, am I right?
Mostly I just don't want to write my essays so I spend my days weighing the chances of convincing people they're insane and waiting to eat foodstuffs. First world problems.
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