Mouths

   Can we just take a couple minutes to appreciate how weird the human mouth is. It is literally a hole in your face designed to ingest literally anything. The structure of the mouth is fabricated in such a way that it can take the shape of a thin line across the lower jaw, or expand to fill half the space on your face, revealing the inner cavities of gross mouth stuff.
   Like teeth. Teeth are jagged little calcium nuggets that protrude directly from a bone. Their sole function is to mash and shred and get infected.
   The tongue is also another crazy character you will encounter in the human mouth. Simply put, the tongue is a slab of muscle, lined with bumps of varying size. Without the tongue, human people would not be able to form words in speech, preventing them from getting in fights at bars and ordering take-out at the drive-thru.
   Also, saliva. Saliva is a smorgasbord of enzymes to help digest food and anything else that people put in their mouths (get your mind out of the gutter, I meant like Laffy Taffy and candy that is debatably food). The best part about good ol' saliva is that when you swallow it, it travels down a long segmented tube that goes to your stomach- which is like, a big ol' pump for vitamins and gas!
   The fun doesn't end there folks. Oh, no. If you are so inclined, you can get equipment such as sexy piercings and even sexier retainers for your mouth, to make it more desirable! Tongue and tongue web piercings are a cool way to jazz up your mouth permanently, and make your tongue feel fancy- like it's always wearing a hat! Retainers come in many different shapes and sized (some retainers feature miniature elastics, so bits of food that linger in the mouth can perform acrobatics). Some retainers you only wear at night, which basically put them in the same category as lingerie. The best part about retainers though, is how they gel with the rest of the mouth team. Retainers are really good at absorbing mouth smells, so the memory of your night's sleep can live on long into the morning!
   What a wonderous world the human mouth is!