Slow Walkin'

   I feel like 90% of my youth is being spent waiting behind slow walkers. Hey girl, why you gotta rush, is something you might say to me. Stop and smell the roses, is something you would continue to say as an extension of your original thought. Jokes on you because I have never lived in an area where the air quality was even remotely good enough to grow roses.
   Maybe I would walk more leisurely if there were beauteous things to see, or even a new Starbucks to check out. But there aren't so I don't. In fact, I could potentially be putting myself in harm's way just by spending time outside downtown. Do you know about pigeons, the airborne poop machines? Anyone who is outside for more than twenty seconds in the downtown core is asking for it. Do I look like one of those chumps? No, I do not.
   Also, here in Canada we are experiencing a lovely winter this spring. I leave my apartment in a jean jacket, and by the time I'm coming home its snowing. The slowpokes best be getting out of my way because there is nothing mama hates more than being dressed inappropriately for the weather.
   For any or all of those reasons at any given time my internal dialogue consists of me shouting "while we're still young!!" at the person ahead of me. I don't care if you're a little old lady or just a dude who's wearing his pants too low- there is no place for slow walkers in or around campus!