What is it about toe nails that make it impossible for them to ever be the right length? No matter how often or not often you clip them, your clipping instrument of choice, or how you go about it they never seem to be right. Its not that big of a deal really, unless you really cut them too short and your feet are but bloody stumps. Hopefully thats not happening on the regular to anyone.
Full disclosure: I have long toes. I don't know if its some sort of optical illusion that my toenails always look disproportionate to my toe length, but this is one of the many petty afflictions I have to live with. Now that we're getting into sandal weather I'm having trouble coming to terms with the problem. Would it help if I painted them with a flash-coloured polish so that they just blended in with the rest of the toe? Probably not. But my greatest fear is cutting them too short and developing some sort of irreversible and probably gross toe condition.
If you have read any of my other posts I'm sure you can tell I am not People Magazine's #1 problem solver of 2012. In the words of an old friend, "that shit ponder[s] my mind like the loch ness monster". Like the loch ness monster, the toe nail issue is bigger than you and me. Hopefully some day modern science or cosmetics will pull through for me and others like me, until that day I will suffer in silence.
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