Startling Animals

   One of life's little pleasures is startling animals. Thats a scientific fact, not just personal opinion. Sneakery in general is very satisfying when pulled off right and sometimes even dulls the pain of seeing something you can't unsee while in the act of sneaking. Sneaking up on animals is the best though because you are guaranteed a wholesome encounter unless you're dealing with zoo animals which I cannot recommend or support.
   This morning I threw a dish in the sink and a squirrel lounging outside was startled. The best part was that he had no idea it was me. Joy of joys! I proceeded to grin a devilish grin and slink away into my living room to watch Mad Men. The satisfaction was such that I felt the need to share it with the world.
   Cats are good for startling too, although its much harder to sneak up on a cat so the opportunities are more or less catch as catch can. Usually embarrassing a cat involves some serious revenge, so I'd hide my pillow if you're considering spooking your own house cat.
   Dogs are no fun because they are just down to play with you if you startle them, and really, I'm just in this for personal gain, I'm not interested in spreading the fun around. Sneakers should be advised that this is a one-man, in-it-to-win-it activity. You're probably only actively participating in sneakery because you're really bored and your friends don't want to play with you (lets be real here). You've already annoyed all the people around you to the point where they no longer wish to see you, so you might as well start on annoying all the animals you can find. Good luck!