A Real Surprise Party

   Last weekend I threw a surprise party for my two best twin friends. They were lured to my house by my partner in crime, when I called saying I wanted to go for B-day drinks with them after I had been feigning an illness all day. They came to pick me up at my house on the way to the bar, and when they arrived all the lights were off an there was no response to their arrival until the fifty people yelled "surprise". I guess they had fun, because the recurring response I got from them when asked how they enjoyed the night was "we thought you were going to be dead!" and anything is better than that I guess.
   I have discussed this with a few of my friends who also wanted to know if the twins had fun, and we think that next time we should milk the whole potentially dead trick for all its worth. In fact, another friend is being surprised at a bar on her B-day this weekend, so we can get the opportunity to do it right this time.
   I'm sure one of the many people invited has a contact in the police force so we can get our hands on some caution tape (real caution tape, not the Halloween kind that says CSI- Crime Spook Investigation). Then we can mix up some fake blood or maybe kill a couple squirrels for authenticity, and smear it all along the stairs of the bar up to the rooftop patio. The ideal effect would be that it looks like someone has been crawling up/down the stairs in a panic- some bloody handprints too would be good. Then on the rooftop patio there's a number of things we could do, lots of room for creativity. I would propose a dummy of sorts- if anyone has a contact in the farming industry we could get our hands on a scarecrow- and some kitchen knives. The kitchen knives could be replaced with a circular saw or some loose chains, really its whatever inspires you at the time. To top it off you could have someone's loved ones (preferably a boyfriend/girlfriend's who the B-day boy/girl would recognize) crying and muttering incomprehensibles.
   One of my friends suggested that we carry this theme all the way to the hospital before yelling "surprise". This would show great dedication to the whole B-day production and thus the friendship. So everyone should be at the hospital at least 15 minutes ahead of time. The beauty of this is that the B-day boy/girl will be so rattled that they won't even question why everyone is there! You can set up the scene in Emergency at your own discretion- a novelty heart monitor programmed to beep happy birthday at the appropriate time would be excellent. I would recommend having some of the guests disguised as hospital staff to really add to the surprise, and one person lying on a stretcher under a sheet.
   When the guest of honour arrives at the hospital (hopefully in hysterics) everyone should be crying and/or rushing around, offering condolences, ordering a hearse etc. They should then be led to the body where they are told "we've lost 'em" or "he's a goner". Give it some time to really sink in, and make sure they get real close to the body. Then upon a carefully timed out signal, the body should spring to life, and as everyone yells "surprise!" the presumed-dead should shove a cake into the stunned B-day guest's face!
   It is sure to be a B-day lie no other, and one they will never forget. Good times will surely be had by all!