MY tampons

   Tampons. This is going to be about tampons.
   They recently changed the box of my tampons. I don't know who the fuck they think they are and I certainly don't know who they are, but those are my tampons. What gives them the right? Don't they know that if I am stocking up on tampons that I am already a glass case of emotions, ready to ex/implode at any minute? Therefore it is utterly irresponsible for the tampon box guys to change the appearance of not only the box, but the individual tampon wrapper too! For all they know Playtex Gentle-Glide customers everywhere are throwing fits at local drugstores; cleaning out the frozen dessert section and pocketing all the Cosmos off the racks.
   The individual tampon wrappers used to be pink and now its green. Green I say! This means that my purse artillery of tampons are mixed colours now. Don't I, and women everywhere, at least need some stability during this topsy-turvy time of month? And why green? Is it to remind us of the nausea we might hope to experience, or simply to remind us that we are closer to nature and all god's creatures at this time?
   The box itself is a whole other calamity. Its bright pink, a drastic change from the baby blue we have all come to know and love. The baby blue was somewhat ironic (if you really want to read into it), and was a breath of fresh air in an aisle that oozes estrogen. Now the box is entirely pink; the colour of uteruses (uteri?). The physical box stuffed full of clean and ready soldiers laughs at the other internal box, my uterus, which will never be clean (sorry, but lets be real here) or ready for anything come the last week of each month. At the worst of times, I could step on a leaf on the sidewalk and my uterus would convulse physically contort into a sad pretzel.
   Why did they change the box and wrappers? Are they trying to hurt me? IS NOTHING SACRED?