8:30 Fucking A.M

   Look at me, I'm writing and its FUCKING 8:30 AM. Why am I awake at fucking 8:30 a.m you ask? Well its a funny story. But not funny ha-ha, like hold-me-back-and-keep-all-knives-away-because-I'm-going-to-kill-everyone/hide-yo-kids-hide-yo-wife funny. The basement apartment below me is occupied by this weird french man who is somehow integral to the maintenance of this building. His sister lives in the adjacent apartment and is more legit, and actually speaks in a language other than grunts.
   It is customary for this man, every, morning to move furniture on his ceiling so that it wakes me up. Don't ask me how he does it, I suspect black magic. There's also a little fence in area running alongside the building where my downstairs neighbours chill after a long night's sleep, you know, to unwind or whatever. The door leading to this area happens to be right under my window. Fuck. Me. This has been a problem all year, and yes I did buy earplugs but 35 decibels is actually only as loud as a refrigerator hum, and that is the most intense kind that a drugstore will sell you.
   Its bad enough that for the past two weeks its been taking me two hours to fall asleep, but now I am waking up before the cock even crows. For real, what the fuck? I have fucking late class tonight, and exams are approaching. Cut me some slack, God. I've been being really mature through some rough times lately but if there is one thing I can't stand its being awake at 8:30 fucking a.m.
   I'd like to mention I was also awake for a half hour at 6 a.m today but I calmly lay resting until the ruckus stopped. And then started again at 8:30. I went down to see what the fuck was happening, why I didn't get the invite to the 8:30 upside-down dance party on the ceiling and I was nearly mauled to death by the housekeeper's two corgis. I don't even know if they're fucking corgis but they're small and they never shut the fuck up. Not only do they contribute to waking me up half the time, but they're so loud I'm sure they're waking up Jesus above too. So when the demons had been called off I inquired about the noise and the lady said "oh, we were just arranging an area with a lot of wood. It won't happen again."
   What. Even. DOES THAT FUCKING MEAN?? Why is there an area with a lot of wood indoors, and why does it need arranging at 8:30 fucking a.m?? At least now I know that should I be driven to arson, the building will light up like the fourth of fucking July. I was being so patient too, waiting for the noise to pass, and it never did. And now that I'm fucking wide awake, it appears to be much quieter.  Fucking 8:30 fucking a.m...