I had quite the adventure at the pop-up blood donor clinic on campus today! Its not my first time giving blood and its a really good thing to do a) because it literally saves lives b) because you get free cookies and muffin bars at the end. This was my second time giving blood, and since I'm planning on getting another tattoo in the very near future I figured its now or never (never in this case being six months from now). I went in, gave them my card, answered all the sex questions (no, I have never traded sex for drugs, stop asking!), told them I preferred they take blood from my left arm. I am led into one of the crazy awkwardly angled chairs. The nurse then asks me if I weigh under 110 pounds and I laugh in her face/ cry in my soul. I should mention that this takes place right beside a huge glass wall looking out onto the downtown core, so pedestrians get to witness your awkward life first hand.
After about ten minutes of trying to get some signs of life out of my left arm, the nurse told me we were going to have to do the right. No problem I say, because I am easy-going and am saving lives, happily awaiting my muffin bar. It takes another ten minutes to find a pulse on my right arm at which point I am told I have tiny tiny veins. I take this as a compliment. The nurse tells me the needle wouldn't have even fit in my left arm vein despite the fact that I can see it through my tissue-paper skin. Apparently the visuals have nothing to do with it; you learn something new every day, I think to myself as I contemplate whether I'll be able to smuggle a juice box into my purse on the way out.
Once the needle is actually inside me (and it takes a while to find the vein once its inside me), the nurses are all very cautious of me and ask my if I feel ok, or if I'm in pain roughly every minute. In the words of Biggie Smalls, I am sittin' fat, livin' good. I don't tell the nurses this exact quote because I'm speaking to them in my broken french, which is actually serving me pretty well and I feel good about it.
All is well until the nurse calls over another nurse and says a word I recognize but can't quite place. Apparently my blood has stopped- this is the gist of it. But don't worry, I don't die. The nurses continue to ask me how I feel and I nod and say "bien" many many times. They then inform me I have a clot, but they are speaking so french that this doesn't really strike me with any worry until a little later. They say its fine, nothing to worry about. They poke the needle around inside me which is not the most pleasant experience but whatever, the muffin bar will be worth it.
One of the nurses then promptly decides after saying that "its at 101" they should remove the needle immediately. I'm cool with that. They tell me they have enough blood to give to a person- rock on. I am then ushered over to a volunteer who asks me about school (in french) and its only a little awkward. Then I get to eat muffin bars, which aren't actually particularly good, I just think they're really funny. They tell me I might have a small bruise, which translates to you will definitely have a giant bruise. Its true. I'm developing a galaxy larger than our milky way on my forearm. The nebula is already there, and the Hubble has photos already.
As I leave I see a guy making a really anguished face as he lies in his chair. I lol in my head really hard. Its been a good day.
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