Rebranding the Push-Up Bra

   I think some serious rebranding of the push-up bra is in order. I can see why some women feel that the lingerie industry objectifies women. I get it one hundred percent. I will admit to owning a couple push-up bras though and hear me out on this one. I acknowledge that products such as the triple push-up are just glorified version of the ol' grade seven sock in bra trick. Y'all ladies should be happy with your bodies, and not feel the need to manipulate it in order to look "sexy" according to unrealistic, misogynist societal standards. On the one hand, I own push-ups bras, on the other hand, I feel guilty for promoting an unrealistic idea of the female body. I have a marketing solution that I think would make everyone happy in terms of Canadian lingerie consumership.
   Today I was doing my usual Sunday thing; eating toast, writing last minute essays and wearing crew neck sweaters. I decided to go outside and walk around to clear my head, so I had to throw on a bra. But not for the reason you might think. I don't care about showing off my fancy feminine form, but its cold outside now, and I need me some layers. This is when the push-up bra comes most in handy in my life. The extra padding really makes a difference and I'm pretty sure thats why Kate Winslet lived in the Titanic, because she was wearing a heavily-insulated bra.
   The rebranding of push-up bras as winterwear would sit well with feminists and effectively sell bras to all sane women. Instead of presenting giant billboards of a young woman looking coyly over her shoulder in nothing but a pair of panties (hate that word) that say "tease me" in a twirly font, why not show a woman exuding warmth and ease as she scales Mt. Everest, leaving her unisex companions to eat her snow dust because she is snug as a bug in a padded bra. I agree with this. Everyone would be happy. You can thank me later, Victoria's Secret.