I Only Have Nightmares

   Its true, ever since May of last year, I can pretty honestly say that I don't have dreams, I only have nightmares. I had a dream about Ryan Gosling the other night, and that was pretty much the only exception in the past seven months.
   I was going to say that I didn't know the difference between nightmares and night terrors, but then I pulled up my bootstraps and consulted Wikipedia. (Sidenote: Lol, bootstraps). According to the great online encyclopaedia I may actually be having night terrors, because I awake in with a feeling of dread and am often real sweaty. I don't want to get into it in extreme depth because I tend to think that nobody really enjoys hearing about another person's dream unless they are in it. And none of you are in my dream. Unless you are my vampire best friend/ succubus who tried to eat my neck multiple times two nights ago while I spooned a very unfortunate guy with glasses. I will say this much: my nightmares often include gun violence and on many occasions I get shot in my dreams several times and don't die (once right in the face).
   Today I tried to put a light-hearted spin on this uncomfortable habit. I'm trying to reason with my subconscious and give it the benefit of the doubt; I don't want to assume its a big jerk, despite its actions. I'm feeling like maybe I have horribly frightening nightmares on a nightly basis in attempt to put my life in perspective. My subconscious might just be trying to make me feel better about myself. Gruesome, life-damaging nightmares might be its way of saying, "hey, at least there are no predatorial male figures with guns in your immediate waking life". Its right on that one. "At least hurricane Sandy didn't actually strike you with lightning resulting in immobility allowing hooligans to shoot you with rifles as you lost grocery money because your fridge got washed away is the flood". My dream life is so much worse than my real life. So thank you crippling night terrors, for without you I may never have come to appreciate my waking life.