Yesterday I made a joke about Pepsi and a bunch of people laughed really hard. Then I referenced the unpopular 90's board game Operation and everyone yelled at me. Cue the George Costanza exit after the peak joke of the night. In reference to my Pepsi story, here's a thing I posted on my bestie's bf's wall- I never let a joke die so I'm riding this Pepsi thing till it passes out in the desert. Live, laugh, love. Too lazy to write a real thing:
Recently I found myself in the basement of an abandoned warehouse that a group of misfits had been living out of for a while. They had actually made it pretty homey, and I looked forward to a quiet night in with my closest pals. How could I know what was to come? If I could go back and change it... no, its best not to dwell on these things. It all started when my dear friend Lloyd started doing a lot of coke. I'm progressive, god knows I too have had my fair share of experiences others might judge me for. Over the course of the night I noticed a change in Lloyd though. He began foaming at the mouth, his eyes rolled back in his head and he crumpled to the floor like an empty parachute. "Lloyd! Lloyd! Whats happening?" I called into the night but the only response I heard was the air whistling through the trees- a spectre in night. Mingled with the roaring breeze came Lloyd's deranged call, slow and quiet at first then screeching. I ran through the basement, haunted by the drug-induced wails of my poor friend. I ran to the kitchen, went straight to the fridge before returning to Lloyd who was now lying in a pile of his own vomit and mouth-foam. His tongue had swelled to the size of a three-year-old's hand. I bent close to him as he struggled to say "I'm sorry. Please remember me as I was before the coke." I cradled his head in my arms and whispered "should have had a Pepsi".
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