In Montreal, there's this TD bank downtown. I am a happy member of the TD bank community (is it bad to say that on the internet? Whatever, go ahead, rob me. Have fun with that ten cents). With the sole exception of this one branch in downtown Montreal, I fucking love the TD life. Its a great place to be poor.
Anyway, this one bank has gotten my goat for the past year and a half. It literally has every single goat of mine that could ever be gotten. Lets go through them, shall we?
Number 1: The line is longer than the line at Canada's Wonderland to ride The Italian Job rollercoaster. If that doesn't mean anything to you, then you can get the fuck out. Know why there's always a huge line at this bank? Because there are only ever max. three tellers open, one of which is usually the business wicket so it doesn't even count for the common folk! Three tellers would be totally fine were this branch located in the middle of bum-sex nowhere, however this is a major urban centre, with major urban needs.
Number 2: The employees are useless. Thats maybe not true, I'm sure they're great lovers and bar-patrons, but they move at the speed of time. Think about it. Not only do they take their sweet time, they also take other things like lunch and smoke breaks. Thats totally something that you are entitled to, as someone who has a job. But when I am the fifteenth person in line and I can see you eating your fucking turkey club, it makes me want to slash things. And when I have to ask you to move out of my way as I try to enter the bank because you are smoking in the middle of the sidewalk, that too is frustrating.
Number 3: The hobos. Montreal is arguably the hobo capital of Canada, and I feel for the hobos because I know this particular issue is bigger than me and/or the TD bank. However! When I am using the ATM and I am 99% sure that I'm standing on a mat that is saturated in hobo pee (how could I know this, you say? Because that ATM lobby smells raunchy), Houston, we have a problem. One time I walked into the bank, and there was a hobo sushi'd inside one of the mats. It was depressing.
Number 4: The stupid shit they choose to say to you, and the important shit they choose not to say to you. This is an extension of number two. One time I went in to buy cheques, and after waiting in the hell line the teller told me I had to go to the Welcome Desk and (I quote) "you always go to the Welcome Desk first". I'm sorry. But who has ever gone to the Welcome Desk first, ever in their life? Its not a thing! And then there was no one even at the Welcome Desk (more like the Just There For Show Desk). The security guard came up to me and questioned me because I was loitering. Eventually someone came and was very incompetent and had to call the manager over. Bottom line: took way more time than it ever should have.
In conclusion, I guess there wasn't much point to this post. I just needed to warn the internet about this particular thorn in my side. My laundry's done now... so I'm gonna.. just go get it... bye.
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