My Roommates Wanted Me To Write About Them

   My roommates. My dear, sweet roommates: Carolyn, Siobhan, Erica and Brendan. Jokes, not Brendan. But sometimes Brendan (who is Erica's sweet, sweet bf). He changes our lightbulbs, he removes the batteries from our smoke detector. If our apartment was a song, it would be called "How to Murder Our Upstairs Neighbours" ft. Brendan by me, Carolyn, Siobhan and Erica. My roommates and I all met in residence last year, and it has been a beautiful, Buzzfeed-filled blur ever since.

***To protect their identities I have only uploaded pictures where they're wearing cool sunglasses.***

  Erica: You clean compulsively and I am not going to stop you. You adopted a terrarium. You emerged from your room this morning looking like a very unhappy camper, and it made me laugh. Erica was supposed to live with her cousin this year, but then the rest of us killed her cousin.

   Carolyn: Wee little Carolyn, who has the worst luck in the world. If I could give you all the leprechauns I would. Especially since its her birthday this weekend, instead I am going to point and laugh as she gets belligerently drunk. Carolyn is also Tumblr famous, and is the cutest patootie.

   Siobhan: You are always wearing your sassy pants, to the point that they are more like sassy legs, than pants. One time Siobhan and I drank like two beers and then were in our kitchen and couldn't stop laughing. It was prime. Sometime Siobhan and I get together and be racist, sometimes we sing songs, and last night she washed my face. Our relationship is like two one-legged dogs who are also blind but don't know that they only have one leg nor do they know they're blind.