Agressive Tendencies

   I had a history teacher in high school who once said "I drink, I get drunk, I fall down". While I can't quite relate to that experience, I can understand having that one thing that always happens when you drink a lot. In honour of l'Halloweekend I think we should take a minute to appreciate those bizarre tendencies.
   I have developed a strange angry streak lately when in states of mild debauchery. I tend to get kind of vocal about things that I would normally bottle up inside, little things, I don't go full on Maury Povich. Nobody is ever accused of impregnating me, or of sleeping with my boyfriend. I mostly just have outbursts of rage at offensive people who pose no threat to me, or at least who I would easily be able to run from should they try to pursue me.
   A couple of weeks ago, for example, these douchebags were hollering out of their car windows at me and my girls. All of a sudden I was overcome with gumption, turned around at them and yelled across the street, "What'd you say about my mom?! What'd you say about her motherfucker?!". I was definitely speaking in caps locks, but I don't like the way all caps looks, so just imagine it.
   Yesterday I was at a big Halloween party, dressed as Avril Lavigne (my boyfriend was Chad Kroeger, it was pretty great), and I guess I was full of the spirit of punk rock because I did some serious yelling. I was in the backyard and this place had three floors, each with a balcony, so naturally people were spilling out of the house onto the balconies. But when people started dropping things off the third floor balcony I just yelled up at them something along the lines of stop doing that (the word motherfucker was probably in there somewhere, if I'm being honest with myself) and "you could kill someone!", which isn't untrue. So really, I was doing everyone a service by drawing attention to irresponsible behaviour with more irresponsible behaviour.
   These powderkeg habits have kind of come out of the blue which is the main reason why they are funny. When I'm talking with my roommates the next morning, these stories always go over really well. Hopefully they brightened your morning the same way that they brightened mine, after I took a minute to remember them that is.