Children's Turtlenecks

   Why do they even make turtlenecks for children? Trying to yank that shit off a kid's head is torture for all parties involved. Are the fashion possibilities of a turtleneck worth the risk of pulling your kid's head clean off his/ her shoulders?

   As I grappled with this question- between intervals of considering whether it would be acceptable to cut the small child out of his turtleneck- I also wondered, why turtleneck?

   Children's necks aren't even that long. And if you've ever seen a kid eat, you know that the space between their chins and shirt collars quickly become insulated with bits of fallen food. Nature's turtleneck, as they say.