I've started this awesome babysitting gig for four nights a week for the next three weeks. It rocks because the child is awesome and loves to sit silently like a little mannequin while I read books to him. Here's the thing that I've realized though: Green Eggs and Ham is the stuff of nightmares.
Its a book all about succumbing to peer pressure! Sam I Am is a lawless tyrant with no regard for free will or animal rights. He relentlessly forces these eggs and ham onto the Top Hat Guy. Worse still, he is made to eat a full meal while he is swimming in the ocean, after a car crash, train wreck and shipwreck consecutively. The emotional trauma!
Not to mention that the food itself is fucking green. What healthy eggs and ham are green? None. None healthy eggs and ham are green. Also, for the duration of the story, they have come in close contact with farm animals and exhaust. They are not sealed in an airtight container and are doubtless contaminated while A, B, C, D and E. coli. Did I mention they've been submerged in water too?
Also, how the fuck is he supposed to eat an entire ham hock with a single fork. He hasn't even been given the proper tools to eat the food. No matter how you slice it, or shove it down with a fork, as the case may be, our hero has just cause to refuse the unsavoury meal.
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