I find myself at a point in my life, where the best way I can describe my general state of being and all ambitions pertaining to it as a "free bitch" or "free bitchly". In this context I am reclaiming the word bitch, so shut-up, you're not my dad. And if you are my dad, what's up, I miss you.
Some free bitch activities include:
- listening to Nicki Minaj and not apologizing to nobody for it
- wearing dark lipstick because its not fucking springtime outside, so it doesn't have to be springtime in my heart either
- having an "arrangement" (but you have to say it with a french accent) wherein you expand your sexual horizons in the least awkward way possible *sidenote: on time while travelling in France with my father in her youth, my mother was approached by some next man who started trying to throw off the destiny of my birth. When my mum told him she had a husband he said, "do you and your usbind ave an arrangement?????"*
- wearing toe socks. Don't conform to what society deems a "weird" way to wrap your toes.
- being vocal about your crush on the One Direction member of your choice. THIS IS FUCKING CANADA.
These are just some of the plentitude of free bitch activities you may choose to partake in. They are all more fun with alcohol I'm sure. But free bitching is a sober pursuit as well. Just so you know. But if you wanna do alcohols make sure its something that does crazy shit when you light it on fire. Free bitch!
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