Sunday, December 2, 2012

Eyebrow Bliss

   When my eyebrows are happy, everyone is happy. You know those days, when your eyebrows are crazy for no reason and its like, "why? There ain't no Van de Graaff generator, so why are you doing this?" It would be one thing if I was surfacing from a body of water, but sometimes me eyebrows are just doing their own thing.
   My mother says people would kill for my eyebrows, and to this I say I would kill to see that fight which I imagine to be two men fighting at sundown in a Wendys' parking lot over my eyebrows. No matter what my wonderful mother says, my eyebrows have never launched a thousand ships or even a single paddleboat for that matter. That's why its even more awesome when my eyebrows are cooperating.
   Eyebrows legit make a big difference to a person's face. Example one: I'm not down with guys with just have two bricks chilling above their eyes, its like, is your forehead trying to build a house? Example two: I was lurking this girl on FB and all of a sudden she got really pretty. She was pretty before, but something was different: that something was eyebrows.
   I also have very expressive eyebrows. They could probably compete as Olympic high jumpers. Sometimes it looks like they're trying to fly off of my face, which is fine when they're all trying to fly off in one direction, but it is not fine when each hair is trying to fly away in different directions like a flock of scared pigeons. Today though, today they are looking real fierce. Unfortunately I've been cooped up inside writing papers all day.

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