As you well know, I don't do haircuts. But when I do do haircuts (haha doodoo), they are never enjoyable experiences. Past haircuts haven't ever been notably bad or anything, I've just never had that stylist/ head of hair bonding experience, and I will tell you why.
Whenever I am in a hair salon, chilling in the chair, the funniest person in the world is always in the chair next to mine. Everyone in the salon always wants to talk to whoever is sitting beside me. Oftentimes its an older lady, with wooden earrings and a very loud voice. Sometimes she's a travel writer, other times she's just an extravagant white lady, but she is always infinitely more interesting than me. As I struggle to turn the pages of my magazine with my hands trapped under the smock, my hairdresser questions the most interesting woman in the world about what her plans for the future are. Nobody cares what my plans for the future are, despite the fact that I've got about thirty years more future to account for than this woman.
Whatever, see if I care. As an act of defiance I haven't visited a hairdresser in years. So take that! I refuse to return to a hair salon until I am undoubtedly the most interesting woman there.
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