One of the things people say to me after they get to know me a little bit is, "you should do standup". If they're not saying that, they usually say, "you look sooooo much like Winona Ryder". I take both of these things as compliments.
I was recently out with a bunch of people from my workshop class when someone brought up the standup thing. But then they went back on it because they said that most comedians have something about them- a quirk I guess- that makes them sadder than the average audience member. I'm too mediocre on all fronts to fit into standard sad comedian categories: obesity, depression, alcoholism, Jewish. True I may be mediocre in all of these categories (except Jewish, I'm zero percent Jewish) but I know my life, and can't nobody tell me that shit's not sad:
One time I got dumped on prom night. One time I fell from the air onto a skinny boy's head (it wasn't sexy). One time I crammed so much sushi into my mouth that I couldn't swallow and had to spit a little bit out onto my napkin. One time I fell off the bed while I was getting down to business (it wasn't sexy). One time, body sounds; oh wait, that was way more than one time. One time my father had to scoop my vomit out of a sink with a yellow cup. One time I thought I had asthma, but I was just grotesquely out of shape. One time my orthodontist made me wear six elastics in my mouth all day everyday. One time I thought I was going to marry Ryan Seacrest.
Needless to say, I think most comedians are amateurs on the sadness scale.
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