Toe Socks

   Remember toe socks? How could you not, really. Toe socks are probably one of the most influential fashion innovations, nay, technological innovations of the twentieth century. Toe socks, otherwise known as fittens, are just that: mittens for feet. Not only are they stylish and the heigh of fashion always, they also serve as an uncannily effective ice breaker.
   One of my favourite parts about toe socks is that there is no such thing as a plain pair. They only come in obnoxious stripes and offensive polka dots. Finally, a sock that matches my personality and complexion! Toe socks are also safe for the elderly, because more often than not, they have padded soles to prevent slipping and sliding: walking is safe again; thank you toe socks!
   I like to wear toe socks because of the reaction they get. Nine in ten Canadians are really weirded out by individually wrapped toes. Its great! If you're sitting in your sock feet, watching a move with someone, I suggest you gingerly clutch their leg with your hand-foot. They'll be freaked out for sure!
   The beauty of the toe sock- and what a surplus of beauty there is to be found in this garment- is the feeling you get when you take it off. Its like your toes are all awkward girls at the club- standing alone in their own corners. So when the walls of the sock are broken down, all the awkward girls are thrust together and you can physically feel how weird it is.
   So much fun awaits you in the marvellous world of toe socks.