Friday, December 7, 2012

The Name Blacklist

   The Name Blacklist. Its a real thing. Everybody has names that they hate, whether you have hated them since birth or you have grown to hate them because of a person or experience. The Name Blacklist is for names that make you feel bad in hearing them; consequently these names are not names you would call your children.
   The Name Blacklist is problematic when you encounter a name that you love but then a person or event taints it. For example, you love the name Ricardo. Then a guy named Ricardo burns down your house. You still love the name Ricardo and want to name your first-born Ricardo, but not after Ricardo the arsonist. Is that a weird thing to do? I would say yes. Other people would probably say yes. For the rest of you life in conversation, you would have to specify whether you were talking about Ricardo the life-ruiner, or Ricardo your beloved son, the pride and joy of your whole life.
   Thats a pretty hardcore example, I know I would not be down with Ricardos after that. But what about like... naming your kid after someone you had a crush on in high school? I want to specify that its fully creepy to have that person as the namesake but what if you and your spouse just like that name, with no reference to the past. I want to know when it becomes creepy, and I'm going to run with the idea of child naming.
   Is it creepy to give your kid the same name as your ex-boyfriend's salamander?
   Is it creepy to give your kid the same name as an African dictator?
   Is it creepy to give your kid the name "Hamburger"?
   Is it creepy to give all your children the same names as the Kardashians regardless of gender?
   Is it creepy to give your kid the same name as your eccentric, borderline questionable gym teacher?
   Is it creepy to give your kid the same name as a fictional but extremely recognizable movie villain?
   Is it creepy to give your kid the same name as your best friend's verbally abusive father?
   Is it creepy to give your kid the same name as your middle school bully?
   Is it creepy to give your kid the same name as your boss?
   Is it creepy to give your kid the same name as a one night stand?

   Is it creepy to give your kid the same name as your neighbour's kid?
   Is it creepy to give your kid the same name as your neighbour?

   If you just like the name. I don't have the answers, and for any question you could replace "creepy" with any of the following: bizzare, socially-acceptable, awkward, disrespectful, cheeky, out-of-line, justifiable, stalkerish, uncomfortable, regrettable and/or stupid.
   You're gonna have to make a day of this one.

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