Why I Love Him

   Okay, so I don't know if you know this about me, but I watch a lot of Say Yes to the Dress. I also have a secret wedding board on Pinterest. Whatever, sue me. Its not because I ever plan on being in a marriage, its because I like dressing up and eating cake.
   In case you're unfamiliar, Say Yes is a reality show set in a bridal salon that follows future brides' search for the perfect wedding dress. They do this thing at the start of each interview where they interview the bride-to-be about her fiance and she talks about how they met and why she loves him. I have only ever heard about five different answers to why she loves her fiance, so I have compiled a list of more interesting and perhaps more honest answers. Enjoy.

   Instead of: "I love him because he's my best friend!"
   Try: "I wouldn't say he's my best friend. I think that would be kind of sad. My best friend is Alicia (shout out girl!). He is in my My Five though."
 
   Instead of: "He's always there for me."
   Try: "Well, he's not always there for me. I'd say he's there maybe sixty- no more like forty-five percent of the time."

   Instead of: "He's my rock!"
   Try: "He's my stick of butter!"

   Instead of: "He would do anything for me!"
   Try: "He would do some things for me, but it depends whats on TV at the time that I ask him."

   Instead of: "He's the sweetest guy I've ever met."
   Try: "He's luke-warm. My ex Paul Sanchez was probably the sweetest guy I've ever met. I love him and all, don't get me wrong, but tell him dinner's going to be late and he's downright sour!"

   Instead of: "We're perfect together!"
   Try: "Look, the biological clock was a-ticking. I don't have time to just 'find' the perfect guy for me- I have a full-time job, and standing in line at the grocery store takes longer than you expect. There's no shame in settling."