R@ St@us

   I spent the first minutes of NYE waiting for the streetcar, listening to songs on repeat (like I do). When I got onto the streetcar I had a hate-related epiphany: its the most bothersome when someone rings the bell for the upcoming stop before the streetcar has started moving. It just grinds my NYE gears, you know? Really though, the joke's on them because all the murderers that could potentially be a-stalkin' know where you're getting off, so hah!
   Aaanyways, I know there are worse things than people who pull the bell too early (winkwinkwinkwinkwink) but for real I do not understand. I enjoy pulling the bell as much as the next guy, but I don't want to come off as desperate. Premature bell pulling is the first step and next thing you know you're contemplating actually wearing a fedora, and not for money. Or worse, you end up in a relationship with Kanye West and all of a sudden you've got a nine month publicity stunt on your hands! Bottom line, the bell pullers are way past eager beaver status, they're just straight-up annoying beavers.
PS Please be advised that I will be unable to write or even think about anything other than Kim and Kanye's fetus for the rest of my life. So many jokes to fit in in nine months.